Morbius Is Drained Of Almost All Life

The new Sony movie Morbius should have been a good 45-minute short about the toxic relationship between gay lovers Jared Leto and Matt Smith (to clarify, they are not gay lovers in this movie), set in the 1980s with both of them suffering from the then-fatal disease AIDS. Unfortunately, there is another hour of movie that is actually about a comic book anti-hero set in current day, with a bad story, wooden acting and boring CGI.

Below is a spoiler-free review of Morbius, but I could load this article with spoilers, and you likely wouldn’t care, as you probably aren’t going to watch this movie — at least not until it hits some streaming service you already subscribe to.

The most shocking thing about Morbius is that Jared Leto isn’t bad. At times his Michael Morbius is charming, frightening, funny and almost never descends into the melodramatic emo stereotype I and everyone assumed he would take the character. That’s not to say he is ever exciting to watch — this isn’t Mark David Chapman from Chapter 27, or Harry from Requiem for a Dream. The other actors are mostly forgettable. Adria Arjona as Morbius’ research partner/possible love interest Martine Bancroft is wasted on a nothing role. Same for the amazing Jared Harris, coming off the strength of Foundation and Chernobyl — his character is a series of platitudes with no real reason to be in the movie.

Matt Smith as Morbius’ childhood friend Milo is at times fun to watch and at times so bad I had to actually look away from the screen. Why did director Daniel Espinosa (Safe House, Life) allow him to make some of his choices with how to portray Milo? Tyrese Gibson’s FBI Agent Stroud is another nothing character and Gibson plays it exactly like that. The one exception to all of this phoning it in is Al Madrigal as Stroud’s partner, Agent Rodriguez. He is clearly having fun with the small role, and it is fun to watch him.

The writers of this mess are Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless — two people with no photos on IMDb and exactly the same writing and producing credits, which include the movies Power Rangers, Dracula Untold and one of the worst movies in the last few decades, Gods of Egypt. So, low expectations that they met. Their script is so predictable there is absolutely no tension or surprise as the story plays out.

The CGI transformation from handsome Leto to noseless monster Morbius is better than I expected, but the final fight sequence is even worse than I feared. It is a dark, muddy, battle that makes the final fight between Black Panther and Killmonger in the otherwise excellent Black Panther look like actual live action in comparison.

I won’t waste your time ranting about the terrible science, but just know it is dumber than a J.J. Abrams sci-fi movie. Do not watch this with an actual medical professional, because they will be shouting at the screen for much of the movie.

I give Morbius (Columbia Pictures, Sony; PG-13; 1hr 44mins) a 3 out of 10.

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