The Acolyte Eps. 1-4 Review: How Did This Happen?

I can’t wrap my head around it. How could Leslye Headland, the creator, main writer and showrunner of the amazing series Russian Doll also be the creator, main writer and showrunner of the staggeringly disappointing Disney+ series The Acolyte?

Sure, I know the mechanics of how — bad writing. But good, creative writing was a big part of what made Russian Doll so successful, and that is why the clumsy, amateurish writing is so baffling. Everything is not all bad, and I’ll lay out some of the wins in The Acolyte, because otherwise this spoiler-free review would be really short, since I can’t go into detail about any of the writing fails without spoilers.

The first win is the use of mostly practical makeup effects in the various aliens in the series. I am happy to see that, even if it means the creatures don’t move quite as smoothly as CG aliens would.

Second in the win column (for the most part) is the cast. Amandla Stenberg is engaging as the lead character, and Lee Jung-jae is really good as Jedi Master Sol, in what I believe is his first English-language appearance. He brings every bit of his nuanced performance from Squid Game to a series with very few nuances. Manny Jacinto is also very good as the (probably) alcoholic assistant Qimir. The rest of the cast ranges from “game effort” down to “this hurts my ears.”

Another minor positive is the fight choreography and (for the most part) the fight performances themselves. The series fight coordinator is Lu Juchang, who was also the fight coordinator on Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and a stunt performer on Bullet Train and Ahsoka.

Alas, that’s it for the positives. Aside from the writing (which I will get into a bit more later) there is the music and the sets. The music is intrusive and jarring. I don’t need to have that sudden burst of strings play when something dramatic happens to remind me that I should recognize it as dramatic — or maybe I do need it because the writing rarely conveys the drama properly. The sets are bog-standard Star Wars, with none of the creativity shown in the benchmark for quality, Andor. I mean, I grew up in the forested hills of Western Maine, and I know that no forest floor is as flat as a warehouse floor.

Finally, the writing. The dialogue is so clumsy and/or cliched that it seems like I am watching one of the bottom-tier isekai anime shows that get put out every season lately. More than half of the dialogue is either unneeded exposition or back story. When it is actual character interactions, whether or not it works is down to the actors entirely. Stenberg and Jacinto have some moments, as do Stenberg and Lee. But combined with the often-nonsensical plotting, it really seems like I am watching a series that filmed the first draft of everything written. Or worse, just a plot outline and not a real script.

The Acolyte has a total of eight episodes, and I got a chance to preview the first four. As of today, the first two are available to stream on Disney+. I’m not even sure I will watch the remaining four episodes, because the one hanging mystery to be revealed isn’t really that compelling. Not enough to make me sit through that dialogue for what amounts to another full-length movie’s worth of content. Hell, I almost stopped the review watch after the first two episodes, it was that disappointing. So, I can’t recommend that you watch The Acolyte. Maybe if you are a Star Wars completionist and you want to see how they could make another series as bad as The Book of Boba Fett, then go for it. But have a drink handy — you’ll need it.

I give The Acolyte (Lucasfilms; TV-14; 8 eps.)  a 2 out of 5.

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