Four Movies I Don’t Need Thanks to PACIFIC RIM (and One Game I Do)

I love pop culture. I love movies and television and comics, so like most of us nerds I occasionally get an ‘itch.’ You know, that fanboy/girl desire to sate a vague media wanting? Recently I had a mid-century crime itch after watching a play-through of L.A. Noire, so I watched Goodfellas and L.A. Confidential. Itch scratched.

Some itches seem paradoxically unscratchable. In our nerdy collective unconscious, we have some itches so strong, we fear to ask for the relief of a scratch. What if Hollywood screws it up with Michael Bay and a PG rating? What then?

After seeing Pacific Rim, I felt like some long-held desires were fully scratched, body and soul. Here are four movies I never need Hollywood to attempt, thanks to Pacific Rim (and one game I don’t want the industry to sleep on.)

1) Cloverfield 2

I loved Cloverfield. Well, let’s try again. I liked Cloverfield a lot. What I loved was the ARG built around Cloverfield, the world designed by J.J. Abrams released via viral videos, graphic novels, and websites that led up to the film’s cinematic release. However, Cloverfield was surrounded by a fog that made its intent a little unclear. Initial pictures of the monster showed something like a whale with feet, but the final overhead shots we get of the monster in the film aren’t anything like that. Abrams himself taunted audiences with the announcement that the creature in Cloverfield was only a baby, that elsewhere there was a larger beast, sleeping beneath the waves. And as someone who loves her giant monsters…I wanted to know what that was.

I honestly don’t know what Cloverfield 2 could give me that Pacific Rim didn’t. Pacific Rim doesn’t toy with showing the audience the beauty of its baddies, the first major shot is a gorgeous display of fierce, kaiju0-driven destruction. Each of Rim’s monsters are unique, bearing the creepiest evolution has to offer. The monsters here are beautiful, varied, a veritable Who’s Who of the Best of Biology. With bioluminescence, strange tentacles, bioelectrogenesis, and acid defenses, these monsters are more believable than dragons or green men, with a twist to their origin that’s really quite clever.

2) Independence Day 2

I know, it’s on its way. ID Forever’s been announced and Bill Pullman’s involved. It’s confirmed that it’s 20 years in the future, so unless something really awful has happened to the Constitution, I imagine he won’t be president any longer.

That might be for the best. In Pacific Rim, Idris Elba draws heavily from Pullman’s President Whitmore in Independence Day. He delivers the same hands-on approach and pre-battle speeches that get you jumping in your seat and quoting that final slammer of a line. And we come together and we kick ass and save the world against aliens that would have seen us dead and colonized. And yet Elba doesn’t leave you feeling like it’s a ripoff. Rather, you feel like this guy watched Independence Day and took notes. Elba’s Marshall Pentecost is as compelling a leader as Pullman’s President Whitmore, but also as smart as Jeff Goldblum’s scientist character with Will Smith’s desire to punch aliens. On top of that, it’s a movie about the end of the world and our leader has the terrifyingly badass name of Pentecost. So that’s all I need. President Whitmore, I’m sorry, but you can retire to the Hall of Presidents. Is that where you go when you’re done being a president? That dopey boring Disneyworld attraction? I realize now I have no idea.

3) Neon Genesis Evangelion

If you watched Pacific Rim and you still want a live action EVA movie, I’m not sure what to say to you. I imagine you have a level of EVA fandom I do not, where you buy those Rei and Asuka figurines that come out, the ones where they’re dressed as mermaids and pizza chefs and stuff. Mostly because Pacific Rim managed to not only nail so many of the important aspects of Evangelion – unpredictable mega-monster attacks, mental synchronization, the rarity and importance of the mech units, and the extensive teams required to operate them – it improved upon them. Seeing the multinational teams of the Pacific Rim countries created a unification that didn’t really exist in Evangelion, though Rim still gave us shitty United Nations representatives on talking screens. Additionally, the need for a dual piloting system was so clever, I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up in Evangelion 4.4, or whatever movie we’re up to now. The necessary unification of Pacific cultures even gave us the the loudmouthed white pilot dealing with his culturally different Japanese co-pilot. Come to think of it, Rinko Kikuchi would be just about the best Rei Ayanami ever, and I’d pay to see Charlie Hunnam in Asuka’s yellow sundress.

The one thing Pacific Rim lacked that Evangelion had is the presence of multiple female characters. Sure, there’s the Russian pilot, but she’s barely touched on and her name is mentioned once. Rinko Kikuchi’s Mako Mori is incredibly compelling and unique – I particularly loved the cultural savvy of her line about obedience and respect – showing that Del Toro can indeed write women well. I just wish he’d written more of them in this movie.

4) This Is The End…2?

Admittedly, I wasn’t interested in recent apocalyptic party-flick This is the End. Why not? Because I’m so mad at the Hollywood starlets who would, in the face of the end of the world, just party. Of course you would, James Franco. Of course you would, Emma Watson. This is how Seth Rogan plans to face the apocalypse: stoned and shouting. Not so, my nerd brethren. That’s not how we’re going out.

In a lot of ways, Pacific Rim scratches my itch for a movie where nerds have to handle this apocalypse shit. Because we’ve all watched Evangelion and Kaiju Big Battle and played a bunch of Kinect games (more on that later,) we all do pretty well. The cast features nerd darlings Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Charlie Day (Always Sunny in Philadelphia), and Burn Gorman (The Dark Knight, Torchwood) in funny, relatable roles. The score is even provided by Ramin Djawadi, best known for the instantly identifiable scores of the Iron Man films and Game of Thrones.

If you aren’t convinced that Pacific Rim is the apocalypse for our people, consider this: the cockpit voice of the hero-piloted mecha is provided by Ellen McLain – best known as the voice of GLaDOS, from Portal. Not exactly comforting, but it sure is cool.

And one game I do –

Kinect Pacific Rim

I realize there is a Pacific Rim game in development by Yuke’s, the developers of the WWE games. I also realize that movie tie-ins are nearly always hastily chopped together pieces of junk with no real innovation. The early screenshots released make this look like another cheesy, downloadable fighter, similar to the Deadliest Warrior fighting game.

This pains me, guys. Watching the Jaeger pilots do their synchronized, targeted movements made me want to play, too. It made me want that for the Kinect. I know, the Kinect has a lot of problems, especially for group play. But when was the last time a Kinect game that wasn’t about dancing got any real support? Take a quick look for Kinect innovations and the best ones aren’t by Microsoft – they’re hacks done by creative people using the device to do everything from make music to have their own real-life JARVIS. What a cool opportunity this presents! Who doesn’t want to slice off the heads of giant robots by moving in synch with your buddies?

I hope someone’s listening. I would pay money for this game, Microsoft, and I would pay extra money for DLC that let me pilot the three-man Crimson Typhoon, with the extra arm and crazy saw blades.