The Mummy: Universal’s Dark Universe Starts With No Big Bang

One of the first entries of the summer blockbuster season of 2017, The Mummy offers us a tale lacking in inspiration in a multitude of facets. Directed by Alex Kurtzman (in only his second time filling the chair), this is Universal’s first attempt to cash in on the popularity of an extended cinematic universe (because why should Warner Bros. and Disney have all the fun?), replacing superheroes with classic monster movie intellectual properties in what it calls the Dark Universe.

Our story centers on the lovable grave-robbing rogue, Nick Morton (played by Tom Cruise). Accompanied by archeologist Jenny Halsey and Sgt. Chris Vail (played by Annabelle Wallis and Jake Johnson, respectively) he unearths the undead mummy Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella). Ahmanet now has her sights set on Nick to complete a ritual which will unleash an ancient evil upon the world. However, there is more to this mystery that Nick will eventually discover.

The Mummy has a lot going on; most of it isn’t good. The movie constantly forces world building down your throat just like Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (because it worked so well when they did it!), so much that Universal created a logo for the Dark Universe which plays just before the opening scene. And it doesn’t stop there, the characters practically trip over “Easter eggs” throughout most scenes. Pro-tip, Easter eggs are not supposed to be obvious, especially from the very beginning!

One of its biggest flaws is the constant fluctuating tonal shift in the narrative. It’s painfully obvious that Kurtzman (who also co-wrote this … thing) wanted to give some sort of nod to the ’90s Brendan Fraser films, by shoehorning in as many quips and action scenes as he could. Unfortunately, this negates any horror element that the movie tried its hardest to establish — not that jump scares in 3D require that much effort.

The 3D is ridiculously underutilized in this movie by the way. I haven’t seen a film waste 3D camera work this badly since the first Thor movie, and I’m pretty sure that is not the best way to emulate an established extended universe.

In another Marvel Cinematic Universe parallel, there is even a S.H.I.E.L.D. equivalent called Prodigium, which is led by Russell Crowe with dissociative personality disorder. His Dr. Henry Jekyll seems to be set up as a recurring character in many Dark Universe movies.

This movie has little to do with its titular character in the plot department either; Ahmanet does scary things, chases our heroes and is bested in the end, but she’s not all that scary or interesting for that matter. Sofia Boutella spends most of the second act in bondage trying to seduce Tom Cruise, because this is his movie after all.

Speaking of leaps forward in feminism, in order to add that extra dash of fan service, there is a quick close up shot of Annabelle Wallis’ navel in an early scene of the movie, y’know because she works out. But soon after, Tom Cruise is shown completely exposed, because I guess he’s proud of physique.

I liked the action, and I guess there was some chemistry between Wallis and Cruise, but overall The Mummy showed little more than Universal’s desperation to stay relevant by poorly copying its competitors, and having a complete lack of direction.

I give The Mummy (2017, Universal, PG-13) 2.5 out of 5.

And, Universal, please give up your distribution rights to The Hulk, so Marvel/Disney can make another standalone movie.