Fifty Shades of a Hilariously Shady Interview
As a general rule I try not to initiate a conversation about media I absolutely disdain (particularly the media I haven’t consumed) because, yeah, I may dislike it but someone else does like it. There’s plenty of popular media that I have defended and loved and been berated for anything from its problematic nature and history to just the fact that the person I’m discussing it with thinks it sucks. It’s a terrible feeling to love something and have someone tear it down.
What we’re talking about
That being said I want to discuss Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades is one of the most popular forced bondage romance novels to come out in a long time. It’s also one of the most popular adapted fan fictions. Others better spoken than I have discussed the book’s negative implications and potentially dangerous stereotypical portrayals of the BDSM community, and because of this (and my lack of enthusiasm for the Twilight series which has nothing to do with but inspired Fifty Shades) I’ve had no interest in checking out the film.
If you’re interested in reading or watching a rape/non-consensual BDSM power exchange relationship by all means, no shame here, I just feel that if I want to see a BDSM scene I want to see it done by professionals, not massive budget amateurs. When I heard that Jamie Dornan, who will be portraying Christian Grey, went to a BDSM club for research and laughed at the people engaging in consensual BDSM play, I was furious. I’m not involved in the BDSM lifestyle but I have friends that are and hearing all this and knowing what good, consensual BDSM is I had hopes that Dornan witnessing it would give him a clearer picture of why the character he is portraying is a complete and utter ass hat.
It wasn’t until I saw this video by Glamour magazine that I changed my mind entirely:
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Why it’s hilarious
I love this video. This was one of the most accidentally funny videos I’ve seen in a long time. We’ll get to the lack of chemistry, and the brazen apathy I’ve seen from two stars of a guaranteed financial blockbuster I’ve ever seen, I’d rather start with the least obvious, but most distracting, aspect of this video. I am of course talking about the nameless, headless figure holding an iPad with talking heads asking inane questions. Who the hell is this guy? I assume he’s some poor intern but still this is distracting as hell! He is doing the job of a music stand. It reminds of Krangg from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Does this cavalcade of heads live and operate within the totally realistic metal body of this intern to ask rapid fire questions that are lame as hell? It’s some weird, weird, futuristic metaphor to show how some people matter but some people are props — but it’s not a futuristic metaphor! This. Actually. Happened. PRESENT TIME!
That chemistry… Oh that chemistry. Andy Kauffman couldn’t have orchestrated something as beautiful as the scene going on here. Now many have said that they have no chemistry, but I disagree. There’s a spark between them but it’s not the hot kinky, “Oh my God I can’t wait to watch them simulate sex” chemistry. This is the chemistry between two people who can’t stand each other but are not known well enough to be able to demand separate interviews. They are beaten down husks who have expelled all the anger and resentment they have for one another, for this movie, and dealing with dumbass, invasive questions. Those questions? Those answers? I have so much respect for Dakota Johnson. “What’s your spirit animal” (What a bullshit, culturally appropriative question) “…Unicorn.” Ha, good answer! “What do you and your character have in common?” (Yes tell us what you think you have in common with a shell of a Mary Sue of a Mary Sue.) “UUuuuuuhhhhhh spirit animal.” GENIUS!
Why it’s depressing
It may all be in good fun that I’m laughing as hard as I am about this video but Gawker (I know I know,) released an article chronicling the various bits of social media involved within the filming process including fights between stars and writers, comments made about the awkwardness of filming bondage sex scenes in front of lots of people, and fears from the actors themselves which has been fascinating. Fascinating specifically because it shows how yeah they’re actors in a guaranteed money making movie who agreed to take the role but also how powerless they felt after accepting. Feeling like they couldn’t escape. Now that the movie is going to be released there’s still no escape. Dornan, who plays a dead-eyed woman strangler in BBC’s The Fall for at least two seasons talks about having to do things to his co-star he would never want to do to another person.
At one point Johnson talks about how her co-star has an established fan base but she does not. It makes you think, what if she said no. She could have said no but then her agent definitely would’ve dropped her because that’s a lot of money for the both of them lost. I know, “boo hoo hoo,” actors making lots of money, but as much as one has a say in the roles one gets, they really don’t. I take more issue with the fact that Johnson eventually fell into a “Meh, it’s a gig, just get it over with,” mentality than I do with people wanting to consume media about rape fantasies. It scares me that these two actors who have the power to at any moment walk away and not do an act will feel so much pressure to both pursue the act even though they hate it. Even though they despise it.
To be clear, no, I’m not comparing landing a large scale, profitable acting gig to sexual assault, but what I am saying is that there is something horrifying (Irony? Maybe?) about the language the actors use to describe the experience they had filming this movie and how much it coincides with the controlling nature of Christian Grey. In most, very extreme, BDSM play sessions that you can view (if you’re over 18) the videos will show the two people before and after, and while some of what they say and how they act may still be staged it still pulls back the curtain to show that consent is had and that what they are about to do is not an idealized fantasy and to show that extreme play can still be healthy. This press junket, because they’ve pulled back the blinds to show us the inner workings of the piece, shows me that these two actors are forever marred by this experience.
Say what you will about the story within the Fifty Shades universe but the story surrounding seems a lot more intense and unsettling. Seeing people actually not in control may actually ruin the fantasy but as broken down and as angry, and as little control as these two actors have had through the process, I can see from this video that they are lashing out and fighting back. As much as yes, this is a hilarious video for all the reasons I detailed, I love this video because the actors are fed up and not interested in being controlled any more. The safe word is Unicorn.
