How to Plan The Perfect Nerd Wedding

Putting together the perfect wedding is one of the most daunting tasks any couple will ever perform. But putting together the perfect nerdy wedding is in a whole other ball park. So just how do you pull off the ultimate nerdy wedding without making it too cheesy? Because at the end of the day everything nerdy is a little cheesy … but that’s why we love it, right? Nerd Caliber got the inside scoop from newlyweds Rachel and William Both Jr (BJ) on just how they turned their special day into a Tolkien wonderland.

NC: What made you decide on the theme The Lord of the Rings?

Rachel: Well, the whole look of the thing started with the colors. There was a little bit of tug-of-war over which colors to use. So we had to come up with a different tactic to settle things. What would it look like? Which of our color preferences would go best with that? We’re both huge Tolkien nerds, with many friends who are Tolkien nerds. So we decided we’d let Tolkien influence our wedding’s decor, and the proposed colors that went best with that theme (green, silver, and black) were the ones that ended up being picked.

BJ: I think we settled on Lord of the Rings around the same time we were looking at cake designs. The color choice and tree theme fit Lord of the Rings pretty well, so we ran with it. It also fit our personalities rather well!

NC: How did you decide on what elements of Middle Earth to incorporate into the wedding? What was important to convey while still keeping the classy touch?

BJ: Trees and greenery! We didn’t want to be over the top, so Rachel chose classy items that fit what we had been talking about while not blatantly screaming “Elves and Hobbits!” We were mostly constrained by the space; the same room was used for both the ceremony and the reception, so decorations had to be easily setup.

Rachel: The biggest influence over our choices was the forest of Lothlorien, where everything is old and elegant; long, slender curves, that sort of thing. It went quite well with our colors and let us go crazy with the trees. So in that vein, it was very easy to maintain a classy touch. For the most part, we didn’t directly reference everything. Rather than playing it off like two nerds having a themed wedding, we tried to make it look more like an elf and a hobbit were getting married in Lothlorien (minus the pointy ears and hairy feet). The elegance flourished naturally from there.

NC: Besides the actual movies, what would you revisit/visit to gain inspiration for the wedding decor?

BJ: I would say the rich descriptions in the books were an inspiration. Plus, we looked at tons of themes, concept art, and decoration ideas online!

Rachel: We’re also both heavy players of Lord of the Rings Online, so we could just go and explore the areas we wanted it to look like. Besides that, I’m stupidly artsy, so a lot of it just came from my brain.

NC: What was the most challenging part about planning a themed wedding? How did your families play a role in the planning?

Rachel: Our families were the most challenging part about planning a themed wedding. They each had very different ideas about what we meant when we said it would be a “Tolkien-like” wedding. It could be immensely frustrating at times, but at the same time… frankly, the wedding couldn’t have happened without them. And not just because neither of us could exist without parentage. Mom really stepped up as the wedding coordinator and worked out all the nitty-gritty details that tend to be forgotten. She’s the reason everything ran as smoothly as it did; she literally thought of everything. And then Dad paid for everything, which is kind of important.

BJ: Well, it was challenging to find a balance between nerd and stuffy, but I think we succeeded. The most challenging part was probably the sheer amount of planning involved. Insanity.
Rachel’s mother was invaluable in the planning process, and kept us in line during the short planning phase. Six months may sound like a long time, but it sure isn’t! My mother sent us theme ideas, sample pictures, and gave us the framed Lord of the Rings maps that were hung on the walls.

NC: What was your favorite part about the wedding (besides the obvious of marrying your best friend)?

BJ: I liked the atmosphere and the sheer fun we had! So many fun things … the impromptu “Be Our Guest” dance, the shoe game, the garter toss … so many good memories.

Rachel: Obviously, it was amazing being able to amass so many of our favorite people in a single place to celebrate the best moment of our lives. But a slightly lesser joy was seeing all of the little pieces we’d worried and slaved and grown grey hairs over come together into a whole that was exactly as beautiful as we hoped it would be.

NC: What advice would you give fellow nerds who want to plan a themed wedding? What makes it different or unique from other weddings?

Rachel: Advice? If you want to be classy, don’t directly allude to anything during the ceremony; that’s tacky. Just pick a beautiful theme and then make all of your decoration choices as though you are in that setting. Would you have lanterns in Lothlorien? Yes? Then what would they look like? If you take your time and really examine the options, it’ll all come together in a great way. It makes it unique from other weddings because it’s breaking away from traditional molds without being so out there it no longer resembles a wedding. Plus, your vendors will love you for it, because you’re asking them to do things they haven’t had to do a million times over; plus, it adds a couple glorious new entries to their portfolio.

BJ: I would say, give yourself more time to plan! And find people who share your vision. It’s so much more fun when the baker, florist, etc, are as excited about your theme as you are. And what makes it different? It’s not a cookie-cutter mold. It’s not as stuffy as the classic wedding reception, and allows the bride and groom to…influence the crowd. Nerds just have more fun!

NC: Any additional quotes or comments that you would like to add.

Rachel: Despite all best efforts, something will go wrong. Our cake died. It hit the deck, face first. So the cake we cut was a lie. But the important thing will always be that no matter what, we drove away from the venue in our bubble-wrapped car each married to the best human being we’ve ever met. A splattered cake looks fairly petty next to that.

BJ: “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” Best to step out your door with a partner!

And there you have it! How to plan and tackle a nerdy wedding. Many thanks to Rachel and BJ and good luck as you venture down the hobbit hole also known as marriage!

All photos courtesy of Kitt Creative.

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