If You Have The Stomach For It, Thanksgiving Is a Fun Splatter-fest

Admittedly I may have been a little over ambitious on this one. 

I had heard Eli Roth describe Thanksgiving as an homage to ’90s slasher flicks. I like ’90s slashers, I like Massachusetts, where both Roth and I are from, I like the cast, and the promo material seemed gross but at a level I could probably handle. I regret to inform you I miscalculated my own resolve.

The splat pack darling Eli Roth is back. After a quick diversion into children’s movies (the charming The House With a Clock In Its Walls) and a shark documentary (Fin) we’re back to Roth’s bread and butter — splatter. The film begins at Thanksgiving dinners throughout Plymouth, Mass. While people are settling in for their meal, Right Mart, the film’s independently owned Big Box Store is getting ready to open. Yes, they’re opening on Thanksgiving Day. 

While the wealthy Wright family (owners of Right Mart) eat, Mitch, at another table across town, gets called in to cover a shift at Right Mart, leaving dinner. What follows is a recreation of the worst Black Friday videos you’ve seen, with some ghoulish flair. There’s a riot. Despite having a lot of humor this is a fairly grounded scene that kept me up late into the night despairing about human cruelty. 

After a retro title card we’re right into one year later. Shocking to no one in 2023, the footage of Right Mart’s riot has gone viral. We watch gloved hands prepare murder weapons, we see a list of targets and then we’re off to the slasher races. Our main story centers on the six teens from the prologue trying to figure out who’s dressing like John Carver (Cahvah) and carving up their friends. There are kills a plenty, gallons of blood flow freely, miles of guts are strewn and each kill is pretty creative. I did spend a lot of the movie death gripping my armrest and closing my eyes, but I did check in during each and every kill (and there were a lot of them). At one point a woman in front of me stood up and loudly declared “I don’t know how you all are doing this” before leaving the theater.  

There were also a lot of laughs in Thanksgiving. The comedic absurdity that Roth expertly leaned into definitely softened some of the grosser blows. Toward the beginning when the John Carver mask was introduced, I couldn’t help but notice it looked like the creepy Burger King mascot which I think must have been deliberate. 

Admittedly when the third act started I did check my watch to see how much longer was left — it did drag in the later third. The performances were good, Patrick Dempsey as Sheriff Newlon especially. The accents ranged from “decent Boston” all the way to deranged. Side characters stole scenes. There were definitely some pacing problems but like any good Thanksgiving dinner it’s hard to have all the dishes come out at the same time. It was fun, chaotic, gross and I don’t think I’ll ever watch it again. 

I give Thanksgiving (TriStar Pictures; R; 1hr 47mins) a 3.5 out of 5.