In Black Adam, The Rock Cooks Up A Knockoff

It is said that persistence is self-discipline in action, and when it comes to the former, the DCEU has it in spades. When it comes to the latter, the star of its latest attempt at pop cultural relevance, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, is the human manifestation of the word. 

Getting the movie Black Adam onto the silver screen has been an epic tale that could be its own film, and the tenacity of The People’s Champion would make it just as fascinating as Black Adam itself.

Black Adam is the story of the titular anti-hero who, after centuries of being entombed in a sacred temple, is awakened to set the country of Kahndaq free from the thralls of the evil mercenaries Intergang. 

This movie has a lot to dissect, so let’s get into it.

Narratively it’s fine. Derivative is a word you’re going to see me use a lot in this review, and that especially goes for the writing. Besides copying a litany of tropes from superhero movies before, there were times when it felt like scenes were ripped straight out of Terminator 2, right down to Black Adam’s *cringes* catchphrase. But to the movie’s credit, it felt like a less cringe attempt at what Batman v. Superman: Yawn… err Dawn of Justice tried to do, which was world-building. To be fair, it’s also piggybacking off previous DCEU films. So, the bar is near ground level.

Lorne Balfe’s score was one of the most interesting parts of the film, but you can tell his heart wasn’t into it, because (here it comes again) it was derivative. For the man who wrote the score for the greatest Will Farrell movie of all time, Megamind, to make this — disappointed is not the word I’m looking for.

This movie has no shortage of talent in the acting department. I came for The Rock’s scenery chewing, but Pierce Brosnan’s magnificence kept me interested; I would listen to him read the periodic table. 

Aldis Hodge was perfect as Hawkman. He was charismatic and had great chemistry with Brosnan’s Dr. Strange, I mean Fate (yes, I know the difference). Quintessence Swindell was best girl as Cyclone, but I wish she had more to do though. Sarah Shahi as Adrianna Tomaz and Bodhi Sabongui as Amon Tomaz were TOTALLY not Sarah and John Connor!

Oh, you’re probably waiting for me to praise Noah Centineo as Albert “Al” Rothstein/Atom Smasher, but don’t hold your breath. He wanted to be Paul Rudd so bad, but that ain’t it chief. 

Director Jaume Collet-Serra is not good; his catalog of work (a bunch of mediocre Liam Neeson action flicks and Jungle Cruise) runs an entire spectrum of mediocrity, and this film is no exception. Underutilizing cinematographer Lawrence Sher, he creates some of the (here it comes) most derivative and underwhelming shots ever. This guy’s the second coming of Michael Bay, without the blockbusters.

The Rock said Black Adam was a passion project, but after seeing it and being well aware of the Machiavellian trajectory of his career, it comes off more as a derivative (BOOM! BABY!) vanity project.

Sorry Rocky but I don’t SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what you’re cooking.

I give Black Adam (Warner Bros.; PG-13; 2 hrs 4 mins) a 3 out of 5.