Up To Our Armpits In Hobbits: The Middle-Earth Theme Park

As you may have heard there’s a rumor that Warner Brothers and Universal Studios want a Middle-Earth Theme Park.   Of course there’s plenty of juicy speculation on what it might be like over at Behind the Thrills, as well as . . . well most of the internet.  Let’s face it, if it goes through despite some of the past concerns the Tolkien estate has (like LOTR slot machines . . .) , it’s fun to speculate on what’s going to be there.

Then again, we’ve already been treated to the Denny’s Hobbit Menu, so maybe we don’t want to look too closely.  If there’s a gift shop called “Your Precious” I’ll just walk away.

However, whatever Warner Brothers and friends may do with/to/for a Tolkien Theme park, there’s another factor to consider – what it means if they really go through with this.

You don’t go building a theme park attraction, or subpark, or whatever it’s going to be casually or for laughs.  This is the use of land, development of infrastructure, hiring of architects, and coping with zoning laws.  This is hiring staff (in this case probably in some elaborate outfits), training, and setting mood.  There’s a lot of sheer up-front financial risk.

Then of course there’s the risk of blowing it.  Now again as we noticed there’s been some pretty funky LOTR merchandise and plans for merchandise (see the above slot machine comment), and let’s not go into the weird Denny’s tie-in above.  Warner Brothers and Universal could really screw this up and look bad, and do you want to be the poor schmuck who gets blamed for screwing this up?

So they have to know this.  If they’re going ahead, they’re going to figure this will pay off, and that means getting the most out of the Tolkien properties.  In turn, you don’t do something like this if you aren’t making a long-term investment in the properties themselves, theme park aside.

So if this happens, I think it means Warner and friends have serious long-term plans for the Tolkein properties.  Because, again, you don’t do something like this unless it pays off, and you don’t do something like this if you don’t have it as part of a larger long-term strategy.

This is what I think we’ll see.

* First, get ready for Tolkien films forever.  It means efforts to get the most out of the property as it is now.  Releases and re-releases of films.  The two more Hobbit films, of course.  Theater releases of the films at special occasions.

* Secondly, I’d give it a very good chance there will be other adaptions of Tolkien works, even if it means going through the Silmarillion.  It’s there, there are deals in place for other properties, and it’s pretty much money in the bank.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there are other forms of delivery or media being considered.

* Third, this probably heralds an expanded strategy of other merchandise, games, properties, etc.  Again, you don’t go theme park without planning to make the most of it, and you usually do it as part of a larger set of plans.

* Fourth, we’re gonna see Tolkien go on forever in the hands of Warner Brothers.  If they’re going this far it’s a sign they’re not letting go.  What’s going to happen I’m not sure, but I expect we’ll be talking about it a decade or two from now.  Because whatever is going on, it’s still going to be going on if they have anything to say about.

If the park is real?  It means a lot more is going to get real, maybe all too real, for a very long time . . .

Hope you like Hobbits!

– Steven Savage

Steven Savage is a Geek 2.0 writer, speaker, blogger, and job coach.  He blogs on careers at http://www.fantopro.com/, nerd and geek culture at http://www.nerdcaliber.com/, and does a site of creative tools at http://www.seventhsanctum.com/. He can be reached at http://www.stevensavage.com/.